Michigan Football: Jim Harbaugh No Longer Allowed On Sideline During Games
The NCAA’s attack on Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh has been very aggressive this offseason. Now he can’t even stand on the sideline during games.
In a shocking turn of events, the NCAA has intensified its barrage on Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh by not allowing him to stand on the sideline during the upcoming 2016 season.
“We have examined the situation thoroughly and carefully combed through every plausible option,” the NCAA said in a press release. “The decision to not allow Jim Harbaugh on the Michigan sideline for the 2016 season is what we consider to be the next step in our attempt to make NCAA football a better product for all.”
The NCAA’s announcement comes on the heels of the institution banning the practice of Harbaugh taking photos and signing autographs for fans during the current swarm of satellite camps.
“This is obviously a big blow to the way we like to do our in-game coaching,” said Harbaugh. “We’ll adapt with time and a new strategy, but that doesn’t look past how strange the whole thing is.”
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Many experts believe the NCAA left a potential loophole in its wording of the ban, saying Harbaugh could simply hover above the Michigan sideline or go to other side of the field and stand with the opposing team.
“We recognize a couple areas where he can get through this unscathed,” the team of experts said in a joint statement. “Does he take advantage of them? We don’t see why he wouldn’t. More importantly, we don’t see how the NCAA could stop him.”
Harbaugh didn’t shoot down the prospect of him sidestepping the rule.
“We’ll do what we have to do,” he said.
The NCAA has not formally cited a reason for banning Harbaugh from the sideline this season, though many assume it’s part of the blind assault on anything he does.
Asked why he thinks the NCAA might have felt it necessary to enact such a rule, Harbaugh had no answer to volunteer.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” he said, grinning. “We’re hoping the NCAA will clarify its ruling for us, but we’re not going to count on it.”
It’s unclear if the NCAA is considering similar bans for other college coaches, or if this could also extend to other sports.
“Look, there’s just a lot we don’t know,” said Harbaugh. “I’m not a fan of the ban—who is? We’ll survive and push on. It’s what we do.”
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*This post is meant to be satirical, though only slightly.